


Happy Pure Unicorn Fun

by TheVoiceofWrath (meet_your_fate)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Harry Potter References, Unicorns, everyone is jealous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-21
Updated: 2013-11-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 05:18:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1052962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meet_your_fate/pseuds/TheVoiceofWrath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Bet you wish you were a virgin now!” Stiles crows. He’s totally going to put braids in the unicorn’s mane and they’re going to have all kinds of happy, pure unicorn fun and everyone else can suck it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Pure Unicorn Fun

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago over on my tumblr, but only just realized I hadn't posted it over here. It was originally prompted by [happyclip](http://happyclip.tumblr.com/) to [redhoodedwolf](http://redhoodedwolf.tumblr.com/), who politely declined to do it and allowed me to take a spin at it instead. It was a lot of fun to write, lol.

A strange smell and random horse tracks all over Beacon Hills, Derek had said, so here Stiles is, roaming through the forest. At least it isn’t night. “I don’t even get why we’re worried about horses. Nobody is getting hurt. What’s the problem?”

Derek sighs. “It just… it doesn’t smell normal, okay?”

Scott rolls his eyes. Because, clearly, he has other places he’d rather be. Who doesn’t? Stiles had been in the middle of an epic raid when Derek texted. And he’d been queued for like, ever, too! Such bullshit.

“Okay, so, horses. What weird horses could there be? Pegasus. Pegasuses? Is that the plural of pegasus? But it probably isn’t winged horses or else we wouldn’t be able to follow the tracks so far. A hippogriff? Oh wait, that would have the same problem as the pegasuses with the wings and the tracks,” Stiles muses.

“Are you really going to list off every single mythological horse-adjacent creature?” Derek asks.

“Totally. Hippocampus? No, no; the tracks are too far away from the water. And do they even have hooves?”

“Stiles, _seriously_ —”

“Unicorn.”

“Oh my god, Stiles, I’m going to rip your throat out—”

“ _No_ , unicorn. _Right there_. Grazing on the grass all majestic like and stuff,” Stiles says, pointing at the pretty white creature with its iridescent horn and flowing mane.

Derek stops and frowns in the general direction of the unicorn.

Scott turns a concerned look onto Stiles. “There’s nothing there. Are you okay…?”

“I’m fine. Are you kidding me? You can’t see it? It just flicked its tail and whinnied. It is _right there_ ,” Stiles insists. He carefully moves closer to the unicorn, a hand outstretched. He smiles when the unicorn knickers amiably and meets him halfway. Unicorns are really soft, okay? He pets along the unicorn’s snout. Muzzle? Whatever.

Now Derek and Scott are both looking at him like he’s gone off the deep end. “You are petting nothing. You are literally petting the air,” Derek says.

Stiles rolls his eyes. “I am _not_. I don’t get why you can’t see it.”

“There are tracks,” Scott points out. “You can see the tracks in front of Stiles.”

Derek moves closer to Stiles and the unicorn, reaching out to try to touch, but the unicorn prances around Stiles. Like it’s playing keep away. Stiles grins. “Dude, Derek, it doesn’t like you. What did you do to tick off a unicorn you can’t even see?”

Stiles thinks that’s totally a pouty kind of scowl on Derek’s face.

“Oh, hey, didn’t the Harry Potter books say something about unicorns being choosy about who they let close to them?” Scott asks.

Derek’s sighs. “That’s _fiction_. And it said unicorns like girls anyway, didn’t it?”

“Virgins,” Stiles says. “You guys aren’t—well, I’m assuming—and I am. It’s either that or unicorns just hate werewolves.”

Scott frowns. “Well, either way that sucks. I wanna see a unicorn…”

Stiles texts Lydia and it takes a good twenty minutes for her to make it out. Stiles passes the time communing with the unicorn on a deep emotional level. Or trying to figure out a polite way to hop on for a ride, whatever. Same difference. Lydia sighs like they’re all ruining her life. “For the love of all that is holy, why was it so important that I drop everything and come here right away?”

“You can’t see it?” Stiles asks.

Lydia looks around and shrugs. “See what?”

“The huge white unicorn that’s chewing on my hoodie,” Stiles says, pointing helpfully.

Lydia’s eyes narrow, as if she thinks he’s mocking her. “I can see your hoodie moving like it’s being chewed on… Why can’t I see the unicorn?”

Stiles throws his arms up and lets out a cheer, jumping a bit. “It’s the virgin thing, aww yes!”

Lydia looks to Derek and Scott for an explanation. Derek is leaning broodily against a tree and Scott is pouting from his seat on the forest floor.

“Apparently, only virgins can see unicorns,” Scott says, petulantly.

“Bet you wish you were a virgin now!” Stiles crows. He’s totally going to put braids in the unicorn’s mane and they’re going to have all kinds of happy, pure unicorn fun and everyone else can suck it. Who knew his inability to get laid would pay off?

Scott throws a stick at Stiles’s feet. “Shut up.”

Lydia just shakes her head and leaves.

**Author's Note:**

> come follow me on [tumblr](http://thevoiceofwrath.tumblr.com/)! ♥


End file.
